First of all, I know that this is not a politically correct designation, but it has more of a ring to it than "the non-Jew." It also suggests the intensity of communal disapproval of inter-dating and intermarriage, which I support. The Shaigetz is a colleague who grew up in a very Jewish town and knows more about Judaism than some Jews I know. I realize this makes no halakhic difference.
Okay, enough about terminology. The Shaigetz bought me jewelry on his trip abroad to visit his brother. He gave me the bracelet today. Oh, boy. It's beautiful. I know that I am starved for male attention, and it doesn't help that he is my preferred physical type, single, and a great guy. I am have been seriously considering jumping his bones. I know that is a terrible idea.
Fortunately, I have a fair amount of self-control, and although I do not consider myself a halakhic Jew, I believe that one of the key things that the Torah and halakhah are trying to teach us is that we do not have to give into our desires. This is not about my going all Protestant on your ass. One of the values of kashrut, I think, is to remind us that we are not just animals who eat everything in front of us; we take a moment to wash our hands and say brachot to remind us of the fact that we are supposed to be "k'doshim" (and also that food comes from God). When I was with my Ex, we were not Shomer Nagiah or anything, and sex is not how I roll, but I did think carefully about what we did do. It's part of balancing modern and traditional Jewish values. Oh, boy, being Conservadox is fun. I'm going to throw myself into my work now.