I am thinking about trying to get back together with my Ex. Now, I know this sounds perhaps a little desperate, but consider this: he's smart, good-looking, has a job and a nice apartment (and still single). To a graduate student, this sounds like a good deal. We have gotten back in touch over e-mail lately, and while we have only been shooting the breeze (after I apologized to him and he forgave me for sending him one hostile e-mail soon after we broke up), it might be a foundation for something. Anyway, I'm not planning on doing anything right now, since he doesn't live around here. I will be up his way around Pesach.
Seriously, folks, he was my first serious boyfriend, and while I was concerned that he was commitment-phobic (which he was, of course, since he's a guy), I think now that I was also pretty freaked out about the idea of sharing myself with someone. I don't mean that sexually; that's not how I roll. I mean that I have lived alone for a long time, and I always felt a little cramped when he was around. I think that if I had been more honest with him about that, he would have understood and given me more space. In other words, he pushed me away somewhat, but it was mutual. For now, I'm just e-mailing and taking it slow . . .