. . . but as for the single thing, not so much. I'm back with the Ex.
Now, before everyone goes crazy, I haven't told you guys that I had been thinking about the Ex and me a lot lately. I decided that the primary obstacle to our relationship previously was the difference in our positions on the religious spectrum, and, after dating some and trying to date some over the last six months, that was not insurmountable, since we are compatible in so many other areas. (There are lots of guys out there with whom I am SO not compatible). We have decided on some minimim religion-in-the-home prerequisites in case the relationship progresses, and I am satisfied with them. I also realized that I was way too hard on him in our past relationship. That was due largely to my inexperience, which led to the belief that if we were right for each other, everything would be perfect from the beginning. Ha! I am trying patience, patience, patience.
He has also changed, in the sense of having matured, knowing what he wants (including me!) and going for it. I have been missing him lately, and he was missing me, too.
We will still have to be long-distance for a while, but in the summer I will have more flexibility in terms of my location.
I am pretty happy. It feels as though very little time has passed. I'm nervous, too, because relationships are hard, but so is everything rewarding.
10 comments:
That's very nice. Good luck with the Ex!
Thanks, abacaxi mamao! I am renaming him The Current (TC).
Cool! Did this happen before or after we spoke yesterday?
-J
Before. I'm sorry I haven't told you yet. Yesterday didn't seem to be the right time. Thank you for your good wishes.
Let me try that again, in English. (I made too many errors in my first attempt.) In the course of our years of marriage, my husband and I have arrived at something of a "negotiated settlement" (quite informal) on the subject of observance: The one who's less observant refrains from actions that would interfere with the observance of the one who's more observant. For example, one of us eats treif beef and chicken "out," but doesn't bring it into our kosher home. This is not a perfect arrangement, but is generally acceptable to both of us most of the time. Best of luck in "negotiating" your own "settlement." I hope this relationship works out.
good to hear you are in a relationship.
Thanks for your messages of support, everyone!
re: May 8 - I suppose that is true. Thanks for your sensitivity!
-J
I've only read your blog on occasion, but I read this and had to say something- I'm in a very similar situation (now dating again someone I dated before, I'm observant, he isn't, etc), so- it's nice to know that my once-and-future boyfriend and I are not alone on this one...
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