tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6052856495751826593.post8814754928271008792..comments2023-10-07T04:19:32.403-04:00Comments on Conservadox & Single: How Not to Be a Jerk 2katrinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09428267916507575555noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6052856495751826593.post-79790961280673688732008-09-15T04:03:00.000-04:002008-09-15T04:03:00.000-04:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16707087253474424455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6052856495751826593.post-80736541834270619602008-08-13T06:20:00.000-04:002008-08-13T06:20:00.000-04:00Woodrow: You're right that this really doesn't app...Woodrow: You're right that this really doesn't apply to non-student-heavy communities. In many "grown-up" communities, families (often meaning "women") will cook every Shabbat, regardless of whether they are having guests. Families will sometimes encourage singles to invite themselves over, "since we're cooking anyway." But in student communities, people don't necessarily cook every week and can get out of cooking dinner if they get invitations.katrinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09428267916507575555noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6052856495751826593.post-42694752294927479052008-08-13T00:05:00.000-04:002008-08-13T00:05:00.000-04:00Interesting- though I'm not sure how much of it ap...Interesting- though I'm not sure how much of it applies outside a young, student-heavy community. <BR/><BR/>For example, I'm not sure I want to invite a middle-aged family of five or six to my apartment, with three possibly-bored kids of various ages running around. <BR/><BR/>And I'm not sure I want to put them in the position of having to decide whether to eat in my house, since I know they are way more frum than I. (On the other hand, I didn't invite myself to these people's houses- I think if I did I might feel morally bound to be more hospitable, for the very reasons you enumerate).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6052856495751826593.post-21153366793950158462008-08-07T18:52:00.000-04:002008-08-07T18:52:00.000-04:00as a frum male phd student, I think being in grad ...as a frum male phd student, I think being in grad school makes it significantly easier to prepare meals. My schedule is very flexible, so designing time around when I'm going to cook makes it easy to find time (at least when I want to find time).<BR/><BR/>For instance, baking challah takes time (4 hours start to finish for me), but there's only about an hour or so of real work in that period. So I can get a lot of work done in the middle as well.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6052856495751826593.post-38716047256790329532008-07-28T23:36:00.000-04:002008-07-28T23:36:00.000-04:00Hmm. This post and discussion has taught me some ...Hmm. This post and discussion has taught me some good techniques for developing my mooching skills. I never thought of asking around to find out who is having a meal and then inviting myself. What a fabulous idea! Does it work as well here as it does in NY? After several year of being a hospitality coordinator, maybe I am ready for a solo mooching career.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6052856495751826593.post-68461899223705019952008-07-28T22:02:00.000-04:002008-07-28T22:02:00.000-04:00where i was brought up i was always taught not to ...where i was brought up i was always taught not to invite myself over to anyone's house. now that i live in ny its a different story. people are hospitable, but they would prefer people invite themselves over for shabbas meals instead of inviting guests. it took me a long time to get used to this.<BR/>my friends and i have organized many potluck shabbas meals. these work out very well. sometimes some people may have small apts that may not fit many guests, but a potluck meal helps them recipracate. <BR/>another idea is perhaps offering to bring a dish for the meal even if it isnt a potluck.frum single femalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01592899863773572708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6052856495751826593.post-33210743556724844892008-07-28T19:35:00.000-04:002008-07-28T19:35:00.000-04:00All good advice. One point:Going up to the Hospit...All good advice. One point:<BR/><BR/><I>Going up to the Hospitality Person at your minyan, admitting you don't have meal plans, and letting that person match you with someone offering a meal.</I><BR/><BR/>The Orthodox minyan here does have a system that allows people to accept or extend invitations on Friday night, but for the most part, it's much better to ask for hospitality in advance if at all possible. "In advance," by the way, does not mean Friday afternoon. If you find yourself unexpectedly without dinner plans on Friday afternoon (say, your refrigerator died and all the meat went bad), it's fine to ask for hospitality -- that's what these programs are for -- but you should apologize for the inconvenience.elfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16271905313295544312noreply@blogger.com